Listening Together in the Light When Leadings Collide

Join the UFM community on October 25, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. for a fun, interesting, and thought-provoking first retreat during this Year of Discernment. We need to have a language to express our experience as we practice discernment together. What are we looking or listening for? How do we know that we are discerning instead of hearing what we want to hear? How do other people do it? What if we disagree with someone else's discernment? How does the Divine fit into this? Or does it?

We will meet some people we don't know and deepen our relationships with some we know already. We have planned for a few members of the UFM community to start the discussion with their experiences in discernment. Then the rest of us will have the opportunity to talk and listen with small groups of other attenders.

There will be a children's program, as well as some intergenerational activities, and a lunch facilitated by the Hospitality Committee. After lunch we will work for a couple of hours doing jobs assigned by the Quaker House and Building and Grounds committees, learning how to use the kitchen appliances, or dusting in the library. We will end our day in worship.

We are trying to get a sense of how many people will be attending, so please sign up on the attendance form on the table outside of the office. You may also be asked to bring a contribution to our meal or tools for the hands-on work. Even if you don't sign up and find at the last minute you can come, please do. We want as many people from the Meeting Community to join in as possible.

Queries

Some queries the Steering Committee has been asking committees and individuals:

• What is essential to the life of the community?
  

• What is your current role? How does your work serve the community?
  

• What in your current role is fulfilling? What gets in the way of really feeling fulfilled?
  

• What resources might help you or your successors carry out this work successfully?

• What might be set aside for a year to focus on something else that's either in your work or in University Friends Meeting?

• Could some aspects of your work be performed more efficiently through a different structure?

• How can University Friends Meeting more fully engage our community?
  

• How can we encourage more people to participate in the work of University Friends Meeting, in communities, Monthly Meeting, and Quarterly and Yearly Meeting?

• What elements should a meeting-wide retreat include?

• Is there anything else that Year of Discernment Steering Committee should be thinking about?

We would like to hear from you if you have thoughts or ideas related to these queries.

Sacred Compass

As part of the Year of Discernment, the Library Committee has purchased two copies of Sacred Compass, by J. Brent Bill.

An internal sacred compass operates in our souls, calling and leading us on a pilgrimage to God. Keeping our eyes on this sacred compass leads us to the discovery that we can move through life with purpose and promise, even in times of uncertainty. Our compass invites us to a life of continuous experiences of God and of spiritual transformation.

First All-Meeting Retreat

OCTOBER 25, 9:00 TO 4:00

This Year of Discernment is a time for us to discern how we become a community:

• that people love and want to serve,
• that allows all members to feel that their work fits into the big picture of the meeting,
• that offers members a universal sense of both caring for and being cared for,
• and that efficiently identifies and recognizes the talents of each member so that we are all left with ample time to deepen our spirituality and community-building.

We hope to be joyful, intentional and corporate in our discernment, to listen to each other and to the Divine, and to listen and share our leadings with one another as we seek a deeper spirituality. From this centered place, we hope that the UFM Community will discern what we are led to be and do.

As we have listened to the committees and individuals over the last few months, it has become obvious that we are not a well-connected, cohesive community. In some cases a committee has little idea of what other committees do or why. We have found that when members of our community have differences or questions of one another, there is often no engagement or the opposite, testy conversations. This may be due to the disconnections in the Meeting, to "Quaker Nice" or to our lack of skills and willingness to test leadings, individually or corporately. It may even be due to a lack of trust in the guidance of the Spirit for ourselves, for others and for our community. We want people to feel good about exploring differences without put downs and, thus, need to balance the tension between tenderness and listening versus speaking one's mind. Individuals will feel irritated from time to time. How should we deal with that?

It is not uncommon to hear someone say they come to Meeting to feel safe. Is it possible to focus so much on safety that we become afraid of feeling uncomfortable? Can we open ourselves to deeper spiritual experiences without being uncomfortable? Can we listen deeply to one another, can we risk having our minds and hearts changed-without being uncomfortable? We think most people want deeply personal and spiritual experiences. In order to do this we need to feel safe enough to be able to tolerate being uncomfortable enough to stretch and grow individually and together.

Our first retreat will focus on getting to know each other better, listening deeply to ourselves and others, and becoming more comfortable with differences. We'll explore how to engage with each other respectfully and we will do it with humor, love and worship. There will be intergenerational activities, discussions in small groups, a little hands-on care of our facilities and worship at the end of the day.

Hospitality Committee will coordinate lunch. Some activities will involve all ages (toddler, school-aged and Jr. Friends, Young Adult Friends and older adults). There will be childcare and a children's program when appropriate. We will gather at 9:00 AM and end at 4:00 PM.

Watch for more information in the next month.